I just want to rest here,
In a place beyond tears.
When You see me,
In my life’s blood,
You will not pass me by.
Shepherd,
That you are,
Lift me to Your shoulder.
Carry me
The rest of the way.
I consent to Your ministries,
Trust in Your mercies.
As Your strong arms
Enfold me.
I am comfort,
Through and through,
For I will to be
One with You,
And You have given me
My heart’s desire.
My dear little Saint,
What a beautiful hedge
He placed around you,
Mother and Father,
Sisters and Faith,
Love to grow you,
And hardship
To steel you.
Holiness drew you
As family ties
Formed you for God,
And set you free
To take flight
In the air of Carmel.
Little Saint be to me
Mother, Father, Sister
And my school of Faith.
With you like Solomon,
I learn to sing,
"Draw me; we will run
after Thee
To the odor
Of Thy ointments."
You are God
Wholly Other,
Yet Your humanity
Embraces me
By sacrament.
You are the Head,
The Church, Your Mystical Body,
And in it
I wash my robes,
To take on
The Infant Life of Christ,
Wholly dependent,
Yet gifted
With abundant blessing.
You are God,
Wholly Other,
My Father receives me,
Clothed in the living Flesh
Of the beloved Son.
Copyright 2012 Joann Nelander
All rights reserved
I press my ear
To Your Heart, my Jesus.
With the beating rhythm,
That bounds within Your Breast,
My Spirit takes wing,
And rushes to Your Side,
That pierced and open side,
That Gate of Heaven.
“Enter,” You invite.
Leaving without my fear,
I enter in.
I am all ear,
You, all Heart
And Fire,
A furnace of Love.
My spirit faints
With longing.
A voice of spirit
Reassures and comforts.
In flight,
My soul alights,
Coming to rest,
As coming home.
You have always
Known me.
In an instant,
I know You,
And, only now,
Know me,
In consummate repose.
Glowing, two hearts beating as one,
Union of spirit,
Mine yielding to Yours,
To become truly myself.
Complete and Resplendent,
As the dawn of New Day,
Colored by a thousand rainbows,
Breaking ranks
And melting,
In a perfusion of light,
Dancing across my soul,
Reverberating, throughout the Universe,
In happy harmony.
O, Hallowed One,
We now are Three,
Your completeness
Embraces me.
I know all of heaven,
In knowing Thee.
Heaven has made room for me,
A sacred chamber,
And a mansion,
Raised in Your Rising in me.
I hear my new name
And am transfigured,
As You speak it.
Cor ad cor loquitor.
Copyright 2012 Joann Nelander
All rights reserved
Love and praise hold hands.
Happy hearts rejoice.
Song rises from the multitude,
As lives lived in faith believing.
The Just sing with their being,
Resplendent and resounding love.
Praise embodied in saintly flesh.
New song, New Day,
New creation,
In harmony with Heaven
A symphony of faithful, forgiven witness.
Alleluia.
Copyright 2012 Joann Nelander
All rights reserved
Lord of all joy,
Lord of all sorrow,
Lord of plenitude and might,
Lord of hunger and suffering,
In Your Humanity,
You embraced all,
And elevated Mankind,
Giving the highest dignity
To our race,
Which, without You,
Is little more than beastly,
Roaming and devouring
Without hope or holiness.
Your Father waits
To embrace His wayward sons.
We, the Prodigal, are welcomed
To His open arms,
Arms You, Jesus, gave
The Father on Your Cross.
There with abandonment of Spirit,
Willingly nailed to His Will,
You raised helplessness
To heights of Mystery,
And consummate fulfillment.
We rush to You,
In delight,
As the Spirit
Once rushed upon David,
Caught up to the heavens,
Returning love for the Love
That saves and frees.
Alleluia!
Copyright 2012 Joann Nelander
All rights reserved
I live because You died,
Not in guilt,
But in the freedom of Love.
Choices are arrayed before me,
Multiplied by the days of my Life.
With the breaking
Of each New Day,
I rise forever
To choose You,
With the breaking
Of the Bread,
With the Lifting Up,
With the Cross before my eyes
I am a witness
Of the Resurrected One.
You Christ upon the altar,
You, Christ, living anew
In me,
Walk the Earth again
Leaving now my footsteps.
©2012 Joann Nelander
The lilies like trumpets
Stand about Your altar.
In their loveliness,
They proclaim Love.
In their pure white splendor,
They blast forth
Your glory.
All hallowed Mystery,
You satisfy for the Fall,
Make happy our eternal destiny.
In Your thirst for Man,
Your make new our souls,
And plan a future
Full of Hope,
Drinking our condemnation
To its bitter dregs,
Turning back the sea
Of our unrighteousness,
Drowning the enemy.
You are Mercy calling out,
Before the seat of Judgment.
You, "More Than a Conqueror,"
Turn sinner into saint,
Exchange Blessing for the Curse.
By that grace,
I am become the lily
With You on the altar,
Living witness
Of the Light
And the Life.
Alleluia!
Copyright Joann Nelander 2012
All rights reserved
Jesus, Heart Afire,
Furnace blazing,
Fueled by Love,
Burning without consuming,
Radiant heat,
And all pervading.
Soul, drawn to escape
The hell of Darkness,
With an exchange
Of holy vows.
Free to flee,
Though enraptured
By superior desire.
Created One,
Of two natures,
Once at peace,
Fallen, then to warring,
Barred from Eden’s gate.
Blazing Promise
And Redemption,
Offering Sin’s undoing,
Constant in Your wooing.
Creat anew,
As once in Paradise,
Purified and restored
Exceeding recognition.
Raised beyond perfection,
Melted, purged,
Merged, and welded,
Seamless life as Mother’s garment.
To live now
In Thee,
For Thee,
Through Thee.
Knowing All
In knowing Thee.
Two natures,
Now at Peace
Both lost,
And found,
In Loving Thee.
Copyright Joann Nelander 2011
All rights reserved
God is.
God is waiting for me.
He woos me.
He thirsts.
God thirsts
For my thirsting for Him
Here in the Now,
I Am.
I Am in mystery.
I Am in darkness.
Being of Light,
Overshadowed, as by a cloud,
As driving in the dark,
Seeing darkly,
Perceiving indistinctly,
All senses at high pitch.
Unify the threads of day.
Compose my hours
To sing one song.
Bathe me anew.
Let me swim in You.
Alive to Presence.
Awake in repose.
Listening.
I know You in fullness,
Fully and abundantly.
I know You
In the fullness of my emptiness,
Robed in the fullness of my sorrow,
In the fullness of my grief,
In the fullness of my joy and plenty,
In rapture,
Sweetly knowing
And by Love known.
© 2012 Joann Nelander
Today the Church sings, “Come, let us worship Christ, the Son of God, who was obedient to Mary and Joseph.”
My heart is singing , too, for as these words entered my soul, up sprang joy. Here within me was the path Jesus walked as He began life on Earth as the God Man. How can I not follow Him, as I prepare for a brand new year. The Way shows me, in my infancy, His Way. He turns my heart to Mary and Joseph, giving me the gift of loving parents to watch over me, to protect me, and to be all supplication on my behalf.
My happy resolve is to fix my eyes upon them and listen for their voices reverberating within me. My joyful way throughout the New Year will be to obey in imitation of my Christ and King. “Come, let us worship Christ, the Son of God, who was obedient to Mary and Joseph.”
As I walk in Your house,
May I never forget You are Master,
Lord of this domain.
May my thoughts
Spring as fruit upon the vine.
Sustain me, O my Beloved,
With the Bread of angels.
Hallowed Ground of my New Birth,
Give me Your heavenly Water,
That I may never thirst again.
Let it rise within me,
As an eternal spring,
And let it fall from heaven,
Like those “torrents
In the southern desert,”
Sheltered in Your arms,
Covered by the corner of Your mantle,
Fed by the Manna of Your Heavenly Body,
Who could forget to sing You songs of Love?
Copyright 2011 Joann Nelander
Clinging, clinging to You,
As a leaf clasping the vine
With mouth pressed
And soul hungry,
Receiving in its will
Sustenance and vigor.
Stress, season, time,
And the tempters three,
World, Devil and fleshy me,
Turn, test and try resolve.
Clinging, I cling,
Clasping fast,
For only the glue of love
Suffice as bond,
To quell and conquer,
The wanton, the unruly.
For the Conqueror abides in me,
I cling to the Almighty Three.
Copyright 2011 Joann Nelander
Moved by Love, my Love,
How do I make return?
Struggles press, take hold of.
Moved by Love, my Love,
Power proffered from above
Too requisite to spurn.
Moved by Love, my Love,
How do I make return?Copyright Joann Nelander
(experimental triolet)
From a homily by Saint John Chrysostom, bishop
For love of Christ, Paul bore every burden
Paul, more than anyone else, has shown us what man really is, and in what our nobility consists, and of what virtue this particular animal is capable. Each day he aimed ever higher; each day he rose up with greater ardor and faced with new eagerness the dangers that threatened him. He summed up his attitude in the words: I forget what is behind me and push on to what lies ahead. When he saw death imminent, he bade others share his joy: Rejoice and be glad with me! And when danger, injustice and abuse threatened, he said: I am content with weakness, mistreatment and persecution. These he called the weapons of righteousness, thus telling us that he derived immense profit from them.
Thus, amid the traps set for him by his enemies, with exultant heart he turned their every attack into a victory for himself; constantly beaten, abused and cursed, he boasted of it as though he were celebrating a triumphal procession and taking trophies home, and offered thanks to God for it all: Thanks be to God who is always victorious in us! This is why he was far more eager for the shameful abuse that his zeal in preaching brought upon him than we are for the most pleasing honors, more eager for death than we are for
life, for poverty than we are for wealth; he yearned for toil far more than others yearn for rest after toil. The one thing he feared, indeed dreaded, was to offend God; nothing else could sway him. Therefore, the only thing he really wanted was always to please God.
The most important thing of all to him, however, was that he knew himself to be loved by Christ. Enjoying this love, he considered himself happier than anyone else; were he without it, it would be no satisfaction to be the friend of principalities and powers. He preferred to be thus loved and be the least of all, or even to be among the damned, than to be without that love and be among the great and honored.
To be separated from that love was, in his eyes, the greatest and most extraordinary of torments; the pain of that loss would alone have been hell, and endless, unbearable torture.
So too, in being loved by Christ he thought of himself as possessing life, the world, the angels, present and future, the kingdom, the promise and countless blessings. Apart from that love nothing saddened or delighted him; for nothing earthly did he regard as bitter or sweet.
Paul set no store by the things that fill our visible world, any more than a man sets value on the withered grass of the field. As for tyrannical rulers or the people enraged against him, he paid them no more heed than gnats.
Death itself and pain and whatever torments might come were but child’s play to him, provided that thereby he might bear some burden for the sake of Christ.
From the treatise On Spiritual Perfection by Diadochus of Photice, bishop
All our love must be for GodNo one who is in love with himself is capable of loving God. The man who loves God is the one who mortifies his self-love for the sake of the immeasurable blessings of divine love. Such a man never seeks his own glory but only the glory of God. If a person loves himself he seeks his own glory, but the man who loves God loves the glory of his Creator. Anyone alive to the love of God can be recognized from the way he constantly strives to glorify him by fulfilling all his commandments and by delighting in his own abasement. Because of his great majesty it is fitting that God should receive glory, but if he hopes to win God’s favor it becomes man to be humble. If we possess this love for God, we too will rejoice in his glory as Saint John the Baptist did, and we shall never stop repeating: His fame must increase, but mine must diminish.
I know a man who, though lamenting his failure to love God as much as he desires, yet loves him so much that his soul burns with ceaseless longing for God to be glorified, and for his own complete effacement. This man has no feeling of self importance even when he receives praise. So deep is his desire to humble himself that he never even thinks of his own dignity. He fulfills his priestly duty by celebrating the Liturgy, but his intense love for God is an abyss that swallows up all consciousness of his high office. His humility makes him oblivious of any honor it might bring him, so that in his own estimation he is never anything but a useless servant. Because of his desire for self abasement, he regards himself as though degraded from his office. His example is one that we ourselves should follow by fleeing from all honor and glory for the sake of the immeasurable blessings of God’s love, for he has loved us so much!
Anyone who loves God in the depths of his heart has already been loved by God. In fact, the measure of a man’s love for God depends upon how deeply aware he is of God’s love for him. When this awareness is keen it makes whoever possesses it long to be enlightened by the divine light, and this longing is so intense that it seems to penetrate his very bones. He loses all consciousness of himself and is entirely transformed by the love of God.
Such a man lives in this life and at the same time does not live in it, for although he still inhabits his body, he is constantly leaving it in spirit because of the love that draws him toward God. Once the love of God has released him from self-love, the flame of divine love never ceases to burn in his heart and he remains united to God by an irresistible longing. As the Apostle says: If we are taken out of ourselves it is for the love of God; if we are brought back to our senses it is for your sake.
Holy Hope, I see before me the path of Jesus.
It trails into my future, while it’s clarity fades as it leaves this present moment.
I am like Bartimeus along this way.
I call out for my Savior.
At my plea angels hurry to my side with the balm to heal my blindness.
I see the Christ with me, before me, beside me, beneath me as hallowed ground, above me as Sun’s light and warmth.
In Hope I never walk alone.
Companions of my life, hand in hand,
Faith and Love abide with me.
My life follows in His steps to that place prepared for me.
Here on this Earth, I, too, know the Cross.
And in this Day, I, too, experience the Paradise of His Presence.Joann Nelander
May my heart be Your paradise on earth, empty of self, save for You, Who are the wellspring of my very being, the great I Am Who Am. Cloth me in Your Heart and dream Holy dreams that create Your life in me. I am empty awaiting the waters of life to inundate my poor, longing soul. Speak peace Beloved. I gaze into Your Soul in its anguished Gethsemane. All ages await your healing Death on the Cross the Father laid upon your bosom in a bath of blood and tears. Fill Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow as with Mary”s “Fiat” her womb became Your world.
Life, precious ointment of Love, consume the death You find in me.
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