I woke up this morning and decided that I am a Mermaid. Affirm me!

BY PAUL MCCUSKER 05/20/2016
I woke up this morning and decided that I am a Mermaid. An African-American Mermaid. No, wait, I am actually an African-American Transgender Mermaid Who Is Lesbian. And left-handed. (My taste for Sushi makes me think I’m Japanese, too, but I’ll figure that out later. I can always change my mind.)
Now, to accommodate this decision, I am going to expect the government to replace the roads with waterways so I will have easy access to the places I want to go. (The good news is that there’ll be no arguments about bathrooms because I’ll simply relieve myself in the water.) My employers will have to change my office to a pool or tank of some kind—they’ll have to or be accused of discrimination. My family may be surprised, but I’m sure they’ll come around. They’ll have to, if they really love me. It doesn’t matter what I do to their lives by my decision. No one should hold me back. Maybe the President will say how courageous and brave I am for finally being what I was truly meant to be.
I may throw a party and demand that the local pet store make me a seaweed cake (and they better do it or I’ll sue). One day I hope to marry again—several times, perhaps, since Mermaids aren’t really monogamous. Anyway, that’s where I am. Later, I will be taking a chainsaw to my various bits—removing my legs and what-nots to facilitate my change. Don’t worry. It’s not self-mutilation because it’s my choice and I say it isn’t. Though, unfortunately, the operation to change my respiratory system—human lungs to gills and all that—will have to be funded by taxpayers under the Affordable Health Care Act. I’m sure you don’t mind, because it’s what I want.
I can’t describe the freedom I feel right now. For such a long time I have been oppressed by a so-called “reality”—whatever the heck that is—that has told me I am not actually a Mermaid. I now see Reality for the lie that it is. I am a Mermaid! Rejoice. Affirm me. Celebrate me. Because the very word “Mermaid” starts with “Me”!

Read more: http://www.ncregister.com/blog/mccusker/i-woke-up-today-and-decided-that-i-am-a-mermaid.-affirm-me/#ixzz49PNCosT3

2 thoughts on “I woke up this morning and decided that I am a Mermaid. Affirm me!

  1. I’m not entirely sure what the purpose of this post is, other than making fun of, and spreading hate towards the LGBTQ+ community.

    I think you’re also missing the point that we’re just asking for a safe environment and equal rights. To use your metaphor: we’re not asking for new, special roads made out of water so we can swim in it. We’re asking to be allowed to use the roads you use, and use them without the chance of getting assaulted for “being mermaids”. Most of us are monogamous, just like most of heterosexual people are monogamous. We’re not asking for a law that allows us to get married to multiple people at the same time. We just want to be able to marry the person we love.

    I’m not trying to be hateful here, just want to share my point of view. And would really love to hear your views on why, for example, same-sex marriage is a bad thing? Or transgenders using the bathroom of their preferred gender?

    So far I’ve only heard people yell that they’re against it, as if the person who screams the loudest wins. I’d love to hear a well-documented opinion from someone who does not support LGBTQ+ rights, because I want to know both sides of the story.

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    • Thank you Sarah, for taking the time to comment.

      The post you refer to is satire, and not meant to be hateful. That is a polarizing place to which some people jump that quickly shuts down communication. So let me give communication a shot.

      The author of this article, by using humor, exaggeration, and irony, means to express, and, yes, even ridicule to expose the lack of common sense in contemporary politics, which is as much at the heart of the problem, as is what some may consider, the disregard for the general welfare and reasonable regard for social and cultural concerns.

      For me, the answer lies not with what I want, or what you want, but what God expects of loving people.
      You ask for well documented. I think thousands of years of holy script should suffice. The scriptures are quite clear, as is Natural Law. John Paul ll’s Theology of the Body is a starting point for many thoughtful people trying to understand and respect the human person, our social needs and responsibility and sexuality.

      Unfortunately, the issue goes beyond quick fixes and false compassion. These are genuine, and complex human issues with real people, not suited for one size fits all edicts, like bathroom privileges without regard for all valid concerns. .

      For an opinion greater than my own I refer you to http://www.ncregister.com/daily-news/us-bishops-pope-francis-brings-clarity-to-transgender-issues/

      There is much serious thinking, sensitive to the real issues, in this area. Human and societal growth takes time, not a sludge hammer. A person must truly want to be informed and allow the Holy Spirit to lead. Pride, passion and the will tend to put up a fight where spiritual and human enlightenment start leaning toward holiness of life. In the end it really is not simply your will or mine that will win the day. Each of us must seriously form a well formed, informed, conscience not of feeling, want, disinformation, fancy or whim. The word “love”has come to mean anything but self-knowledge and self-sacrifice. Where we arrive after this life’s journey is a place where we stand before our Creator alone without the crowds, the logos, signs and jargon. It will be beautiful day if we allow God to bring goodness out of our pain, sins and insufficiencies.

      I trust you are trying, as am I, so I wish you well and pray for you. Please pray for me.
      Joann

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