Chains ethereal bind my soul
Confusion clouds the pathways of my reason
Who could have guessed the menace
It was over in a moment with hasty but firm decision.
Subtle flirtation turned a dance of dalliance.
Trojan welcomed without caution.
Grace dismissed with contemporary flair.Reality now comes in many colors
Shades of gray,
A balancing act to fit the season.
Nothing’s black or white,
Anymore.Who could have known the cost?
Who would have called it betrayal?
Yet, I had chosen.
I ignored the Voice,
All appetite,
And caressing desire.Somehow I knew
There would be a price to pay
But how it would feel,
And what it would be,
Floated in some mist,
Too easily brushed aside
With the feeling of shackles,
Weary old taboos;
So, Adam devoured the apple.Handle it, I could and would,
Just later…
Now, was for me.
Later, for regret.
A logical scheme.
It worked for me!The deed
And the darkness descended,
One following the other.
Night fell like a mantle on my shoulders.
Where the joy?
Where promised pleasure?
Where my once bright countenance.I lifted myself to myself,
Sad at the pillage
Visited upon my soul,
I am alone,
Alone, but for my thoughts,
Thoughts, that, too, accuse you.The world feels different today,
A bit more cloaked,
As with a secret,
But, I assure myself,
All’s well, the same.Waking in another Kingdom
I draw back the curtain:
Without, a sky stripped of it’s stars,
Within, only black,
No sun of clarity,
No heart of love.I can no longer trust
That dawn and morning light
Will follow in sure order.
Yet, somehow, I fear they might.
It must be me who changed?I lingered in this abyss,
Fearing the permanence of my loss.
No stigmatizing letter branded,
For the absence of shame,
But my wax had melted,
and molecules rearranged,
Hardening, misshapen.Drinking in the Truth,
I could not swallow
The gall of repentance.
Pride, like a master craftsmen,
Fashioned my demise
Tightening his chain about my heart.My life, my life,
It’s my life!
I raged at unseen angels.
‘Til falling back upon myself,
I licked my wounds.
I donned a mask of merriment.Then, one foot after the other,
I dressed for the world.
No one, I assured,
No one would notice
My fall from grace.Copyright Joann Nelander
Category Archives: My Journal
A Letter By St. Bernadette Soubirou – Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes
From a letter by Saint Marie Bernadette Soubirous, virgin
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I had gone down one day with two other girls to the bank of the river Gave when suddenly I heard a kind of rustling sound. I turned my head toward the field by the side of the river but the trees seemed quite still and the noise was evidently not from them. Then I looked up and caught sight of the cave where I saw a lady wearing a lovely white dress with a bright belt. On top of each of her feet was a pale yellow rose, the same colour as her rosary beads.At this I rubbed my eyes, thinking I was seeing things, and I put my hands into the fold of my dress where my rosary was. I wanted to make the sign of the cross but for the life of me I couldn’t manage it and my hand just fell down. Then the lady made the sign of the cross herself and at the second attempt I managed to do the same, though my hands were trembling. Then I began to say the rosary while the lady let her beads slip through her fingers, without moving her lips. When I stopped saying the Hail Mary, she immediately vanished.I asked my two companions if they had noticed anything, but they said no. Of course they wanted to know what I was doing and I told them that I had seen a lady wearing a nice white dress, though I didn’t know who she was. I told them not to say anything about it, and they said I was silly to have anything to do with it. I said they were wrong and I came back next Sunday, feeling myself drawn to the place….The third time I went the lady spoke to me and asked me to come every day for fifteen days. I said I would and then she said that she wanted me to tell the priests to build a chapel there. She also told me to drink from the stream. I went to the Gave, the only stream I could see. Then she made me realise she was not speaking of the Gave and she indicated a little trickle of water close by. When I got to it I could only find a few drops, mostly mud. I cupped my hands to catch some liquid without success and then I started to scrape the ground. I managed to find a few drops of water but only at the fourth attempt was there a sufficient amount for any kind of drink. The lady then vanished and I went back home.I went back each day for two weeks and each time, except one Monday and one Friday, the lady appeared and told me to look for a stream and wash in it and to see that the priests build a chapel there. I must also pray, she said, for the conversion of sinners. I asked her many times what she meant by that, but she only smiled. Finally with outstretched arms and eyes looking up to heaven she told me she was the Immaculate Conception.During the two weeks she told me three secrets but I was not to speak about them to anyone and so far I have not.
Another day to Choose
Another day,
In which
I may chose
To love You,
Or crucify You.By Joann Nelander
Quoting Thomas a Kempis
“What difference does it make to you what someone else becomes, or says, or does? You do not need to answer for others, only for yourself.” Thomas a Kempis
Injustice is Always Unjust
Martin Luther King Jr.’s teaching on injustice anywhere by Mrs. Naomi Barber King
Wife of the late Rev. A.D. King (brother of Martin Luther King, Jr.):
The Beloved Community and the Unborn
As our nation pauses to recommit itself to fulfilling the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., we invite our fellow citizens to reflect on how that dream touches every human life. Dr. King taught that justice and equality need to be as wide-reaching as humanity itself. Nobody can be excluded from the Beloved Community. He taught that “injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
In his 1967 Christmas sermon, he pointed out the foundation of this vision: “The next thing we must be concerned about if we are to have peace on earth and good will toward men is the nonviolent affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. …Man is a child of God, made in His image, and therefore must be respected as such….And when we truly believe in the sacredness of human personality, we won’t exploit people, we won’t trample over people with the iron feet of oppression, we won’t kill anybody.”
The work of building the Beloved Community is far from finished. In each age, it calls us to fight against poverty, discrimination, and violence in every form. And as human history unfolds, the forms that discrimination and violence take will evolve and change. Yet our commitment to overcome them must not change, and we must not shrink from the work of justice, no matter how unpopular it may become.
In our day, therefore, we cannot ignore the discrimination, injustice, and violence that are being inflicted on the youngest and smallest members of the human family, the children in the womb. Thousands of these children are killed every day in America by abortion, throughout all nine months of pregnancy.
We declare today that these children too are members of the Beloved Community, that our destiny is linked with theirs, and that therefore they deserve justice, equality, and protection.
And we can pursue that goal, no matter what ethnic, religious, or political affiliation we have. None of that has to change in order for us to embrace Dr. King’s affirmation of the sacredness of all human life. It simply means that in our efforts to set free the oppressed, we include the children in the womb.
We invite all people of good will to join us in the affirmation that children in the womb have equal rights and human dignity.
Sharing “Real World Obamacare”
Wynken, Blynken, and Nod: Sunday Snippets–A Catholic Carnival #93.
The new year is only 26 days old and we’re already seeing fallout from the not-yet-completely-implemented Obamacare.
Mrs. Nod is in her 35th week of pregnancy. Historically she delivers big babies even though she is a small woman. Even Nub, who was 5 weeks premature, weighed in at 8 pounds. The OB told her this week that due to hospital rule changes from Obamacare, they are not allowed to induce her before 39 weeks.
If that happens, we may be looking for all the pieces of Humpty-Dumpty to put her back together again. Mrs. Nod would be “dead on the prairie” if not for modern medicine, early inducement, and really big needles and thread. We will be appealing.
Next, our family doctor provider (whom we were allowed to keep if we liked them) has regretfully informed us that due to the budget cut tricks in Obamacare (21% cut in payments to doctors) they will not be able to take any more Medicare/Medicaid patients and they will try their hardest to keep the ones they currently have.
Fortunately, we don’t use Medicare/Medicaid, but if we had, we’d be hurting about now. I know our doctor is.
Another wrinkle is that the pre-tax amount I was allowed to put away in a medical FSA was slashed by about $1000. So much for saving money and managing my own costs.
These are but a few (small) examples of the ripples that “well intentioned” changes make. I fear for those with a larger stake.
Be Holy! 