The Words Hung on My Lips.

The words hung on my lips.
I wanted to pray
I wanted to be
In Your Presence.
I wanted to feel
Good again,
To lift myself
Out of myself,
Out of my sorrow.

I looked about me.
The world was on fire.
I could not see.
I could not find one thing
To light my candle.

There was not a breath of air.
I could feel the dark.
It pressed
And weighed
And held me down,
Like trying to run
In a dream,
My efforts went
For naught,
Amidst a paralyzingly fear,
My feet are bound,
Phantoms tying them
To the ground.

I wanted to lift my heart,
So that I could sing again.
Where was the music?
Who could play it for me?
Was I really alone?

You used to play with me.
You used to be with me,
And dance with me,
And sing with me.

I used to stand
With the others,
Raise my hands,
Open my mouth,
And proclaim my love
For You.

Where are You now?
Where have You gone?
Or was it me
Who wondered off,
Who was dragged down,
Who fell
And did not rise?

I remember Your Promise
To forgive.
I need that;
I need that forgiveness.
Give it to me now!

I am still Yours.
You have been seeking me.
I know that.
I didn’t want to know that.
But I always knew that.

Find me now!
Here I am.
Now, I want You.
I want to feel good again.
I want to feel God again,
And I know
You’ll come.

©2012 Joann Nelander

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6 thoughts on “The Words Hung on My Lips.

    • Thank you for your hope and prayer. I am joyful and well in His Presence. The poetry comes from an empathetic place within, where I feel the feelings of being without God and also my own longing to deepen my relationship with Jesus.

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  1. Pingback: Sunday Snippets–A Catholic Carnival- « Lioness

  2. God always forgives a repentant soul that cries out for God with love, but in Hinduism we believe that God is just, that is, if we commit a mistake and repent, seek forgiveness we are forgiven but we reap what we have sown- so that our slates are clean.

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    • In Catholicism we also believe we are forgiven, but the effects of our sin still has effects on us and the world like the ripples a stone creates in a pond. Our sin though is swallowed up and forgotten by God like a minuscule drop in an ocean of Love and Mercy, transformed by the Life that has swallowed us.
      Sharmishtha thank you for your thoughtful comment.

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      • I failed to say that it is the redemptive Death of Jesus that cleans my slate, because the offense offends an infinite Being and only an infinite Being can pay the price for such an injustice against the Divine. Alone I could never make such restitution for my sin or the damage done by my sin.

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